Archive for the ‘Adventures on Mill Road’ Category

Mercedes

I wrote this short, short story for a resident of Chester County’s long term care facility.  Each year the employee’s of Chester County give generously to the Pocopson Home, helping to make the season a little brighter for folks who live there.  In 2017 we sent out over 600 gifts. I’m so proud of my coworkers!

My office gets the thrill of delivering (with a lot of help!) the gifts. While we were delivering there were 2 gentlemen sitting in the hall watching us go by with cart loads of presents.  I would joke with them each time I went by.  When we were done, I flopped down in a chair to chat with them.  The one gentleman, John, asked what we were doing.  I told him we were helping Santa with the residents gift requests. John told me he hadn’t given a list to Santa.  I told him he had to have, because there were gifts for him in the lot we just delivered.  He told me he didn’t because he wanted a Mercedes.  This made me giggle because when I was 16 my dad gave me a Mercedes for my birthday.  I still have that blue 1982 Mercedes 350SL Matchbox sitting on my desk.  As I was telling John my story, the light bulb went off in my head. I could do the same thing for John.  This is the story I wrote to go with the Mercedes toy I got for John.

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It had been a long and tiring day at the office and I just wanted to sit down and relax. As I walked to my front door I noticed a tiny little man dressed in green on my front lawn.

“Where is John,” he demanded.

I was a little taken aback at his tone and said wearily, “I’m sorry. No one by the name of John lives here.”

“He has to!” demanded the little man. “I have it right here,” he said stabbing at a piece of paper clutched in his hand.

“I’m sorry. Only David & Tacie live here.”

“Santa is never wrong!” the little man exclaimed.

Realizing who the little man (who was one of Santa’s Elves) was looking for I asked to see the paper. He clutched the paper to his chest. “No one can see the Nice/Naughty List!” he said horrified that I would even ask.

“Can you re-read it?” I asked hoping he would read it out loud. It would be a treat to hear Santa’s Nice/Naughty List.

The Elf began to read what was written with a look of horror growing on his face. “I’m going to get fired!” he wailed and began to cry loudly.

“Why?” I asked worried that the kids next door would come out to see what was going on.

“I’m in the wrong place with the wrong gift!”

“Well, what do you have with you and where are you supposed to be?” I asked.

The Elf looked at me suspiciously. “Why do you want to know?”

“I might be able to help,” I replied

The Elf, still sniffling, thought about it for a moment. “Ok. Since it’s not YOUR gift, I guess I can tell you.  It’s a Mercedes car for John at the Pocopson Home.  But it’s supposed to be a full sized one!  But my division only does toys!  This was supposed to be forwarded to the Full Sized Division. What am I going to do?  I need to be in Florida in a half an hour! I’m never going to finish my early deliveries!! I’m going to get fired!”  He began to cry again.

“I don’t think Santa would fire you. It was an easy mistake. John & I were talking about toys. And things are always so hectic at the holidays.”

He looked at me hopefully, his tears stopping. “You know about this?”

“I do,” I said.

“You know where John is? And you could get this to him? Even though it’s only a toy.”

“Aren’t we all elves at Christmas time?” I asked the little man. “I would be happy to deliver it to John.”

The Elf ran over and hugged me around my knees. “Thank you so much!”

And with a poof he was gone and the Mercedes was left with me. I smiled at the bag sitting at my feet.  It might not be the Mercedes that John was looking for, but at least Santa had heard him.

 

Happy Thur… er Tuesday All!!!
Well, hasn’t it just been a most eventful couple of weeks? It’s rhetorical … it has been.
Ok… where did we leave off?  Ummmm…. waiting for surgery I do believe.  So that was Friday the 13th.  13 is lucky in Chinese Culture and we are sticking with that.
Let’s roll back to Monday before the surgery.  After a long day at the office I go out to get in my car (scooter in scoot) and Rrrrrrrr nothing.  Rrrrrrrrr nothing.  Really!? So I call David & AAA in that order at 4:30pm.  At 8 pm (NEVER EVER tell AAA you are in a safe location it bumps you to the bottom of the tow list) Ronaldo final comes to tow Ruby to the garage.  Thank God for Chris Ann who came and kept me company and listened to my whine (we were are work so no wine!).  It was the fuse panel. We had it replace.
Tuesday before surgery I work up with a huge nagging pain in my shoulder.  I figured I had just slept wrong and it would go away.  No biggie right?  Wrong.  But we will get there. So the rest of the work week was a bit difficult because of the pain which didn’t seem to be diminishing. We’ll get there.
Surgery day.  Other than starting horribly early it went mostly well.  The automatic BP cuff was on WAY too tight during surgery and left little marks on my arm.  So I really made the surgery center nervous when I told them that.  So I have finally lost my screws (giggle) and 6/1 will be able to put weight back on my foot again.  Yup, I’m back to scootering until Dr. Very Handsome is convinced the hole in my bone where the screw was is healing.
Moving on.  The pain in my shoulder really didn’t abate so I went to the Quick Care by mom on the Sunday following surgery and had a fainting spell.  Yup!  I figured it was lack of food, pain and a hot flash all rolled into one. It was very exciting.  But I had my very first (this is a year of 1st’s for me) EKG and it came out just perfect.  And I got a prescription for muscle relaxers which did diddly squat.
Scootering forward to one week after my waking up in pain I went to my GP and she gave me something else that did diddly squat.  And so I started taking 2 Advil every 2 hours.  Yeah, I know. Shhhhhhhh. I’m not taking them anymore.  And yes, I ate something with each and every dose.  I’ve eaten more crackers in the last 2 weeks than I’ve eaten in the last 2 years.  I was thinking of buying stock in Keebler!
So after the pain didn’t subside I got an appointment with Dr. To The Point last who just happens to be in the same practice as Dr. Very Handsome.  So today I had a whole new round of X-Rays with my favorite X-Ray Tech Jess.  Well I got the good/bad news on my shoulder pain.  It’s not my shoulder.  It’s my vertebra. The disk between C4 & 5 is a degenerate.  Oh wait… it’s degenerating. That’s it. So Dr. To The Point prescribed that steroid pack that you take a whole boat load of pills to 1 pill in a week.  So looking on the bright side… it’s not a new condition. It’s been like that for a while.  I irritated the nerve when I slept soundly on Monday (when my car let me down). And I did sleep. I didn’t move all night long.  More good news.  This isn’t going to happen again. (Well the doctor said might, but I’m not claiming that.) The other good news is the steroids seem to be working already and I’ve only had 1 dose.  My elbow hurts, but it’s not that sharp, stabbing, please cut my arm off, pain.  And same with my shoulder.
Didn’t I just slam into 50 and trip right on over it? But that’s it. I’m done. No more illnesses for me.
Oh I forgot.  Thursday a last week I finally did what I didn’t want to do.  I tripped over my scooter and face planted in the office.  I banged up both my knees (left one much worse than the right) put a huge bruise on my left hand and, well, thought I aggravated my shoulder. Which wasn’t the case.  Talk about embarrassing.  But I have the best co-workers! They all came running to make sure I wasn’t dead. 
So that is long and the long of it.  Over all it’s not great news… but it’s not bad AND I’ve been able to type this whole e-mail without stopping or without much pain.  My darling Beloved David has been wonderful.  He keeps going to the doctor’s appointments with me and asking the questions I miss.  My mother is a saint for putting up with my increasingly (and now decreasingly) crabby self.
And that campers is my last 2 weeks.  Love to everyone!
T
[singing badly off key]
Everybody’s doing a brand-new walk, now
(Come on baby, do the locomotion)
Sorry…!
Happy Thursday!  I hope this finds everyone happy and healthy.
Well, it’s been 1 week since I’ve been able to put full weight on my foot and who’da thunk walking would hurt so much?  I guess I did somewhere in the back of my little brain.  I’m still using the scooter & crutches a bit, especially in the morning.  But I’ve really progressed to mostly walking without a cane or crutch.  Mainly because I can’t find a cane with a sword in it that I like.  But I’m still looking!
I finally got a pair of shoes that give me enough lift so I’m not hurting my left knee and right hip.  I really felt like an overdressed extra from a bad Mummy or Zombie movie.  I wanted to moan and make mummy/zombie noises while I was shuffling about.  But now I’m more like a Weeble.  I’m not going anywhere fast right now, but at least I am going forward (mostly).  This HAS been quite an adventure.
We’ve scheduled my pin pull surgery for next Friday 5/13. I won’t know what time until between 1 and 3 on Thursday.  Pray with me that it’s not too early (mornings … blech!) or too late (I have to fast, no nothing including water).  Dr. Very Handsome said it would take him about 10-15 minutes to remove the pin and sew me back up.  Hey… we have a set of DeWalts… I guess we should let the surgeon do the surgeony stuff.  Then it’s 2 more weeks of the boot and then…?  I guess we will find out on the follow up appointment that will pull the staples and X-ray (yet again) the ankle.  Who knows if I will ever make it to Physical Therapy.
So until … when? Probably the 19th I won’t have much to update, unless there is something super exciting happening.  Calm and peaceful is good right now.
Have a WONDERFUL rest of the week!
Big HUGS!
T
One small step for mankind … one giant leap… Ok. Let’s be real, It’s one small waddle for me.  I won’t be leaping anywhere any time soon.
So here’s the scoop.  I am walking in the boot [insert Kermit Yay here]. And boooy is it tiring.  So I’m not giving up the scooter just yet, plus I can’t put much weight on it without the boot.  I’m definitely not ready to do stairs.  And I would like to thank my sexy hunk of man for asking the question … can I sleep without a brace!! The answer was “sure”! If I could have danced I would have. 
The bad news is … Doctor Very Handsome is moving to Wisconsin in June so we need to do the 2nd surgery in May or early June now.  But the good news on that is … it’s a Friday in/out thing.
No word on physical therapy. That will now happen after the next surgery.  I can wait.  I’m still not ready for the volleyball team yet, but I should be by… well, I won’t sign up quite yet.
So that’s the short of it.  Have a great weekend everyone!!
T
Wooooooooo Hooooooooooooo!  Two weeks have passed and I’m at the Big Five Oh! 
 
What? No! Not the Big 5-0 years old. I’m taking about 50% weight on my left foot.  The 5 oh years old thingy happens tomorrow.  But that’s not important right now. Walking people! Walking is the important bit.
 
I’ve been slowly adding a little weight over the last 2 weeks. It still hurts a bit when I put a good bit of weight down on the foot, but it’s getting there.  And that’s only because I haven’t walked on the foot since … Good Lord! Over 3 months.  Crutches are going to be so much easier now that I can put some weight on my foot.  Although the scooter is still my main squeeze until I can walk.
 
And for those of you who are as confused as I was on the how do you know how much weight is 50% weight.  25% is basically foot down on the floor and using it to keep your balance. 50% is slight more complicated and involves a scale and memory.  And for me, sucking it up and hopping up [insert laugh track here] on the scale.
 
So that is it from the trenches for now.  Thanks for tuning in!
Love, Hugs & Other signs of affection one can do in public.
T
 
PS – if you want me to stop sending you these things, just send me an e-mail telling me to STOP! You can’t take me anymore.

Happy Thursday! 

Today was the a follow up doctor’s  … Now that I think about it … I don’t think I’ve ever seen that movie. Sorry… off topic (again).

Today was the a follow up doctor’s appointment.  And we had some good news, some not so good news and some “get out your video camera people” news.

The Good:  Me!  I am healing nicely and I was told I am being a good patient!  How about that?  I am trying to be positive and do as the Doctors say.  David looked at the x-rays and said the Mona Lisa doesn’t look any better than they do.  I think he’s exaggerating just a bit.  The PA is pleased with my progress and the shattered bone is knitting (of course my bones knit!) back together.  Also my night brace was approved (I’ve only been wearing it for 2 weeks) as long as I don’t try to walk in it.  Girl Scouts Honor – it’s only for sleeping aaaaaannnnd maybe lounging about the house.  No weight bearing.

The Bad: I’m just over half way into this.  I have at least 4 more weeks of scootering about.  But I can start to put weight on my foot 25% for 2 weeks graduating up to 50% – as long as it is in the boot.  Then in 4 weeks another round of x-ray’s and assuming all is healing as it currently is then we begin physical therapy.  So I’m looking at probably 6 to 8 more weeks of scooter & boot.  The doctors are being very conservative and this seems to be taking forever because of the shattered bone.

The Ugly: Me on crutches!  Ok maybe not ugly, but giraffe on roller skates does come to mind.  I need to be slightly more car friendly on 4/26 (the PA Primary Election) so I got crutches today.  I will need a lot of practice between now and then.  Get out your video cameras … this might just go viral.

And finally surgery to remove the pin.  PA Cutie Pie called the pin by its technical name.  Yeah, ummm the big pin is what we will call it.  That’s a good news type thing.  It has to be in place 12 weeks.  Ok we are 11 weeks from when the placed it in my person.  Only one more week and it can come out.  Which isn’t really convenient time wise for me.  No problem, it can stay in until after I can walk again.  As a matter of fact some doctors never remove the pins unless they break.  Ummm, break?  Isn’t that what started this whole mess – a break? Thank God that’s not the philosophy of this office – they like to remove the pins while they are still intact.  I like that too.

So that’s the news from Lake Woebeme.  It’s not all great, but it’s all good and I am moving forward.  So watch out for your toes!

Hugs!

I realized that in my tale telling last week the entirety of David’s (My Beloved, My Darling) involvement was reduced to … “So off the ER David & I go.” and everyone else got thank you’s.   For those of you who are completely lost as to why I was off to the ER, e-mail me and I’ll catch you up.

“So off the ER David & I go.  One little sentence involved so much more –  such as picking me up off the floor and hopping me 20 feet across the front yard.  Did I mention the front yard slops uphill?  On a normal day hopping 20 feet across the front yard would be challenging.  That was not a good day.  He was with me most of day in the hospital – only leaving when the staff kicked him out of the room.

He’s the one who kicked me out of the house – which is a good thing because stair and I aren’t on friendly terms yet.  (ok… kicked is harsh, suggested in very strong terms I should stay with mom until I can walk)  He’s my cheerleader.  He’s been silly on the days that I need silly.  He’s my rock.  He’s driven all over Chester & Lancaster counties for me.   And not least of all … he’s in charge of the cats until I can get home to help.

“So off the ER David & I go.  I almost completely neglected him.  He is a most wonderful and caring husband and I am very blessed that his is mine.

This time next week I will have the answer to the question… “What’s up Doc?”

Happy Thursday Everyone.

Or it would be if the Doctor & the PA (BOTH) were out of the office with the flu. So … wait, what do you mean what’s going on?

Ok. Let’s step back (*giggles* – it’ll be funny in bit) from the beginning for those who don’t know what’s going on.  For those of you who do and don’t want to hear (read) the story again, just jump on down to the last bit.  For those who are new to the story … ready?

I was in a bar brawl.  Yup.  Broke 2 bones in my left ankle, shattered a 3rd and tore some ligaments.  Something about a high tear…  What do you mean “you don’t think so”?  I did I broke my … oh you mean the bar brawl.  Well, it sound so much more exciting than I was doing my laundry and fell down the last 2 steps. 

On 1/12 at 8:09 am as I was leaving for work I was taking the laundry to the basement.  The sheets I was carrying wrapped around my feet and down I went.  And surprisingly not one cat was involved.  So off the ER David & I go.  Several hours and surgery later I was the proud owner of a plate, many permanent screws, 1 temporary screw and a nice temporary cast.   I tried crutches while I was in the hospital – think giraffe on roller skates – so they sent me home with a walker.  Yeah. I don’t feel like 100 years old now!  9 days after that a very nice young lady removed the temporary cast and put me in a very pretty purple non-weight baring fiber glass cast.  Which surprisingly & thankfully didn’t itch too much.  And shortly after that one of the BEST bosses in the entire world loan me her knee scooter (she broke her leg a year early) so I could get from point a (the bed) to point b (the potty) without drama, exhaustion and braking another body part.  It also opened up the entirety of mom’s house.  Oh, I didn’t mention that part.  Yeah, I’m rehabbing at mom’s in New Holland because her house is really designed for old people.

4 weeks later – obviously I was healing according to plan because the same very nice young lady (don’t ask me her name even though she’s told me, I forget) moved me into a walking cast (or boot).  Still non-weight baring BUT I released me to drive and go back to work.  My drive went from 25 minutes to about an hour which kinda stinks.  But the food is sooooooooooo much better!!!  Mom lives 10 minutes from Shady Maple (oh yeah!)  Oh Right, there are those of you who are wondering why I’m excited about a tree.  Shady Maple is a smorgasbord with very good food, not a tree.

I have been so fortunate!  I really work for and with an awesome group of people who have been wonderfully supportive.  And Mom.  Where would I be without her!  She has been just amazing!

Stepping back to today [insert rim shot here].  I was supposed to go for x-ray’s and then I guess setting a date for removing the temporary pin that is holding the ligaments together.  But PA Cutie Pie and Dr. Very Handsome have the flu.  (Ok so that’s not exactly their real names… you’ll forgive me if I don’t bother checking out that part.)  Did I mention that they didn’t call the right number?  No? They didn’t.  We just won’t know for 2 weeks now whether or not the ligaments have healed correctly.  

We could do a soap opera style thing here.  (said in best dramatic voice) Have her ligaments healed?  Are the bones strong enough to support her weight? Will the Doctor or the PA be well enough to read the x-ray?  Tune in to find out on the next dramatic episode of “On Crazy Cat Farms”.  Or something like that.

So thanks for the read along.  I’ll send everyone an update (MUCH SHORTER update) in 2 weeks.

A couple of years back a couple of guys ran a fantasy football league from the office across the hall. When they were having problems getting enough players I said I would love to join. They recruited the one guys aunt instead and then complained all season about her not wanting to play. To quote the old knight in Raider’s “he chose poorly.” And of course I mentioned that too.

Fast forward a couple of years. My one girlfriend at the office asked if I wanted to join a league her cousin ran. Read my 10/21/08 post on that one. And since I’m typing this from an iPhone and have NO idea how to link… you are on your own. And I must say WOW – 2008. I didn’t realize it had been that long.

Well, I’ve been happily loosing in my league for years. I’d get close and then blow it. Not close enough to get a good draft pick… just close enough to suck. This year started no different. But I managed to pick up Matt Stafford and some kicker (yeah, I’m into names) because my guys sucked. It didn’t hurt that I have Arian Foster… But dude spent a couple of weeks hurt. I kinda gave up at one point after forgetting to switch my QB. I played a a guy who got me 0 points. I did that a couple of times with various players. Both my QB’s were on bye at the same time … poor planning on my part … But the saving grace that week was the person I was playing against had a lot of Eagles players and I managed to win.

Long story short. I ended up in the top 2 in my division at the end of the season. Don’t ask – I’m not quite sure how. And the lady I beat, besides being really nice (which is completely irrelevant), had beaten me seriously the 2 games before. Which put me in the final 2. Well butter my buns and call me a biscuit. And going into the Monday night game. I was down slightly with 1 player to play. Nealla was up slightly with 2 players to play. Ask me how I beat her by 2 points. Go ahead – ask. I have NO clue. She should have won.

So I have bragging rights for the next 6 months… I am the Queen of my Fantasy League.

I’ve decided I want to do a Facebook World Tour. I want to visit my Facebook friends in the town in which they live for a meal, a drink, or an extended stay. Whatever is most appropriate based on proximity to my home and their tolerance of my presence!

This is going to be super easy for some, like my Beloved. He’s very tolerant of my presence. And he’s close! Then there’s gonna be some that are a little harder. The Mythbusters are going to be a bit of a challenge. We’ll work on that one later.

Off I go on my new adventure, which I actually started some time ago. I’ll write more when a) it’s not midnight and I have to get up for work and b) I’m not on a hand held!

As the old saying goes… “Party on Garth. …”