I slept with Richard Hammond
Ok, not really Richard Hammond. Richard Hammond’s book On the Edge: My Story. And it really wasn’t a sound sleep, it was more like a doze and I was woken up when the book knocked me in the face. Thank God it was a paperback. So obviously I haven’t gotten very far, page 6 or so. Here is the publisher’s description…
The Sims Medieval for iPhone
From EA: Your favorite lighthearted Sims universe is going old-school – back to the times of castles, kings, jesters and knights! Control your Sims and decide their fates in this new fantasy. From serf and squire to Lady and Lord, role-play and immerse yourself in a dramatic, story-driven adventure. Create your hero and determine your Sim’s destiny – the possibilities are endless. Long Live The Sims!
Excuse me?
Ok. On a Top Gear theme. My girlfriend alerted me to Richard Hammond’s lastest mastery of the english language.
Richard Hammond on: sport buttons
Here are 2 quotes from it.
”And then, like an alarm clock strapped to a stick of dynamite, the rev-counter’s needle ticked up to 7,500rpm, and all hell was let loose. Suddenly, my eyes made a dive for my neck, my stomach and lungs were straining to escape backwards out of my riding jeans, and the scenery to either side went all stretchy and thin. ”
And
Top Gear
I’m not really a car person. I love my Nissan Xterra. I loved my Volvo 240GL. That car never left me stranded anywhere I wasn’t safe. Ever. Same with my X – even when we hit a deer, she got me off the road and safe I even loved my Pontiac T-1000 – which was a Chevette by another name. I was never fond of that white Mitsubishi thing I had. As you can tell because I can’t even remember what it was. I’m enjoying my 1st ever sports car – a little red Mazda MX5 (aka the Miata). We’ve taken to calling the Miata the Frog because it has the headlights that pop up giving it a distinctly frog like appearance. And yes, it is a manual. An automatic sports car, even to me, is just wrong on too many levels. And one of these days I’m going to get me a Mustang. That’s what I’ve wanted since the late ’80′s. That’s the kind that uses petrol, not hay.
Fantasy Football
A couple of years back a couple of guys ran a fantasy football league from the office across the hall. When they were having problems getting enough players I said I would love to join. They recruited the one guys aunt instead and then complained all season about her not wanting to play. To quote the old knight in Raider’s “he chose poorly.” And of course I mentioned that too.
Top Gear – Middle East Special
2010 Special (126 show) original air date 12/26/10
Middle East Special
Jeremy Clarkson: This is an outrage. This is just astonishing, this road. I want to marry it and have it’s babies.
Top Gear Series 13, Ep. 2
Series 13, Episode 2 (107 show) original air date 06/28/09
What is the perfect car for 17 year olds for £2,500?
[after equiping a Volvo wagon wagon with a water lie-low (mattress) with a leopard print throw and some shag bumpers.]
Jeremy Clarkson: [reading from the card] “‘The Festival Test’: You’ve been at Glastenbury for the weekend, it’s finished, and now it’s a straight race to see who can pack all their camping equipment and stuff into their car and get out of the park.” How hard can it be?
Richard Hammond: Don’t say that!
[after the guys begin packing]
Jeremy: Guys! Problem!
Richard: What?
Jeremy: I’ve shoved my “anarchy” flag through my water lie-low.
Richard: Noboby’s ever said that before.
Top Gear Series 15, Ep. 2
Series 15, Episode 2 (121 show) original air date 07/27/10
The team attempts to find a second-hand sports saloon that is suitable for everyday tasks and track days on a budget of £5,000.
[On the German Stig]
James May: No, hang on.
Jeremy Clarkson: Oh, my, giddy aunt.
Richard Hammond: Mullet.
James: I think he might be Stiggy Ray Cyrus.
Top Gear Series 15, Ep. 4
Series 15, Episode 4 (123 show) original air date 07/18/10
The team attempts to find a solution to the problem of the caravan, by building motorhomes on the back of a Land Rover 110, a Citroën CX, and a Lotus Excel.
Jeremy Clarkson: The thing in my nose has a face!
Top Gear Series 14, Ep 6.
Series 14, Episode 6 (118 show) original air date 12/27/09
The Bolivia Special
Richard Hammond: Did your co-presenter on your television program just attack you with a machete?
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes, he did. He came to the window quite cross because I ran into him.
Richard: That doesn’t happen on clothes programs or gardening shows.
