Colonel Harry Maybourne: Hi, Jack.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: You rat bastard.
Harry: Hey, hey, hey… take it easy.
Jack: I am SO gonna kick your ass.
They chase each other round the truck.
Harry: Look there are people watching.
Jack: I don’t care!
Harry: Look it wasn’t me. I didn’t shoot you, Jack.
Archive for January 2008
General Vidrine: I always like to get a view of the man in the cockpit. How does she fly, son?
Teal’c: The vehicle performed within expected parameters.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Woohoo… [pause after looking at General Vidrine] Sorry Sir. I couldn’t help but get caught up in Teal’c’s enthusiasm.
Major Samantha Carter: Question is; will they listen?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Well, the real question is; will they have ears?
Teal’c: Colonel O’Neill has officially informed that I have my…”mojo”… back.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: What now?
Teal’c: I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of JELL-O.
Jack: [throwing phone to Teal’c] Call Daniel.
Colonel Harry Maybourne: Gonna turn me in?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Actually, that overwhelming desire to shoot you has come back.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: I distinctly remember sitting here, listening to Carter prattle on about solar activity and a… corona… something.
Major Samantha Carter: Coronal mass emissions – I was just about to bring it up.
Jack: There you go, how would I know that?
Sam: Maybe you read my report.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Daniel taps his file on the table and speaks sarcastically to Carter…] Maybe he read your report
[O’Neill gives Daniel an annoyed look.]
Hu’rak: No matter what you have endured, you’ve never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: You ended that sentence with a preposition, bastard.
[Teal’c has started hallucinating about his wife]
Teal’c: Do not test my temper, woman.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Woman? Did he just call me a woman?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Yes, I believe he did.
Teal’c: Are you ready, O’Neill?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: No. Give me a warning.
[Teal’c activates a zat and aims at O’Neill]
Teal’c: I am going to shoot you.
Jack: I was thinking more along the lines of “on three”. One…
[Teal’c shoots O’Neill with the zat. O’Neill collapses to the floor. Dr. Lee waves an ammonia capsule by his nose.]
Jack: [in a great deal of pain] Two…God, I said on three. God.