Monk: Because it is so clear, it takes a longer time to realize it, if you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Right. I, um, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Archive for January 2008
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Jack, he’s speaking in the Zen codes. Whatever theology he follows may be an original basis for Buddhism on Earth.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Well that’s very nice. I’ll be sure to call the Dalai Lama when we get home. But for now, how about why we came here.
Daniel [to the Monk]: He’s right, this is very important. Is there a child here?
Monk: There is a child in all of us.
Jack: Oh come on.
Master Bra’tac [to the Monk]: He seeks a real human boy, of flesh and bones.
Monk: Those who seek oneness, find all that they seek.
[Bra’tac nods his understanding while Jack continues to look bewildered.]
Daniel: I think this is gonna take a while.
Jack: Really? What gives you that idea?
Monk: Lightning flashes, sparks shower and one blink of your eyes you have misseen.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Lightning, you say.
Monk [to Jack O’Neill]: I only know a snowflake cannot exist in a storm of fire.
Jack: What?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Jack.
Jack: No, I…you know me, I’m a huge fan of subtlety, but that’s downright cryptic.
Daniel [to the Monk]: Sorry, don’t worry about him.
Monk: The sun is warm, the wind is wild, the grass is green along the shores. Here no bull can hide.
Jack [quietly]: I don’t know about that.
[They enter the temple which is lit by candles. There is no one around. Colonel Jack O’Neill glances towards Dr. Daniel Jackson and Master Bra’tac, and when he looks back there is monk standing before him.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Hey, whoa! Where’d you come from?
Monk: I have been here for some time.
Jack: No. You weren’t here when we just came in.
Monk: Here is everywhere you are.
Jack: Excuse me?
SG-1 is at Jack’s house, and Daniel is a bit drunk. Daniel is balancing an orange on the top of his beer bottle. Carter hands Teal’c a glass of fruit juice, then sits, beer in hand. They are in the middle of a conversation.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: So wrong. It’s the perfect analogy. Burns as Goa’uld.
Teal’c: They are merely animated characters, O’Neill.
Jack: You’re so shallow.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh please, Teal’c’s like one of the deepest people I know, he’s sooo deep. [animated] Come, come on, tell them how deep you are. You’ll be lucky if you understand this.
Teal’c:[lifts one eyebrow] My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
Daniel: Oooh! So deep!
Jack: No more beer for you.
[Daniel’s smile disappears.]
Major Samatha Carter: I’m sorry, Sir, but I have to agree. I don’t see the connection.
Jack: Alright, that does it. You know the entire VHS collection was going to one of you? It’s going to Siler, he gets it.
[There is another knock at the door.]
Jack: Thank God, pizza.
[O’Neill goes to answer the door. He opens it to find General George Hammond standing there.]
Jack: Well, you’re not the usual delivery boy.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Are those doughnuts?
Teal’c: Indeed.
Jack: [impersonating Montgomery Burns] Ex-cellent.
Dr. Simon Coombs: Oh, please, huh? They’re just tired of your butt-snorkling.
Dr. Simon Coombs: Oh, come on, Felger. We might as well be wearin’ red shirts.
Dr. Jay Felger: I don’t get that.
[Maybourne tosses an explosive in the lake to ‘catch’ some fish]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: That’s just wrong on so many levels.
[imitating a tour guide in what was once Stargate Command]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: …and we’re walking.