Teal’c: To resist the influence of others knowledge of oneself is most important.
Posts Tagged ‘Teal’c’
Dr. Daniel Jackson: False god. Dead, false god.
Teal’c: Your words cannot change the truth.
Daniel : They’re not my words, Teal’c, they’re yours. Of course, you were wrong at the time because he wasn’t…actually dead. But that’s neither here not there…
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Carter, be honest. The resumé gag…?
Teal’c: It needs work, O’Neill.
SG-1 is at Jack’s house, and Daniel is a bit drunk. Daniel is balancing an orange on the top of his beer bottle. Carter hands Teal’c a glass of fruit juice, then sits, beer in hand. They are in the middle of a conversation.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: So wrong. It’s the perfect analogy. Burns as Goa’uld.
Teal’c: They are merely animated characters, O’Neill.
Jack: You’re so shallow.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh please, Teal’c’s like one of the deepest people I know, he’s sooo deep. [animated] Come, come on, tell them how deep you are. You’ll be lucky if you understand this.
Teal’c:[lifts one eyebrow] My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
Daniel: Oooh! So deep!
Jack: No more beer for you.
[Daniel’s smile disappears.]
Major Samatha Carter: I’m sorry, Sir, but I have to agree. I don’t see the connection.
Jack: Alright, that does it. You know the entire VHS collection was going to one of you? It’s going to Siler, he gets it.
[There is another knock at the door.]
Jack: Thank God, pizza.
[O’Neill goes to answer the door. He opens it to find General George Hammond standing there.]
Jack: Well, you’re not the usual delivery boy.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Are those doughnuts?
Teal’c: Indeed.
Jack: [impersonating Montgomery Burns] Ex-cellent.
General Vidrine: I always like to get a view of the man in the cockpit. How does she fly, son?
Teal’c: The vehicle performed within expected parameters.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Woohoo… [pause after looking at General Vidrine] Sorry Sir. I couldn’t help but get caught up in Teal’c’s enthusiasm.
Teal’c: Colonel O’Neill has officially informed that I have my…”mojo”… back.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: What now?
Teal’c: I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of JELL-O.
Jack: [throwing phone to Teal’c] Call Daniel.
[Teal’c has started hallucinating about his wife]
Teal’c: Do not test my temper, woman.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Woman? Did he just call me a woman?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Yes, I believe he did.
Teal’c: Are you ready, O’Neill?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: No. Give me a warning.
[Teal’c activates a zat and aims at O’Neill]
Teal’c: I am going to shoot you.
Jack: I was thinking more along the lines of “on three”. One…
[Teal’c shoots O’Neill with the zat. O’Neill collapses to the floor. Dr. Lee waves an ammonia capsule by his nose.]
Jack: [in a great deal of pain] Two…God, I said on three. God.