Soldier: [speaking Russian] You Soviet spies?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Nyet. [Translation: No.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Daniel?
Daniel: He just asked if we were Soviet spies. I just…
[He stops, realizing his error. O’Neill gives him a look, unable to believe this one.]
Posts Tagged ‘SciFi’
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Teal’c, look scary and take point.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Well, I think you might be losing what’s left of your mind.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: What’s that supposed to mean?
Jack: It means that on a good day you can be a little flaky.
Daniel: And on a good day you can be a little ignorant and condescending.
Jack: You’re obviously misreading a basic philosophical difference of opinion on how to handle a crisis.
Daniel: Oh please! We have a-a difference of opinion on just about everything!
Jack: Give me an example.
Daniel: U-u-u, I don’t know! Pick something! How – how about – how about mythology!
Jack: Rumors, lies, fairytales.
Daniel: [Daniel spins around bouncing animatedly waving his hands.] You see! See! See! See! See! See!
[Alien #1 toddles up to them, as Daniel starts yelling.]
Daniel: Mythology is one of the primary motivations for cultural development!
Jack: [yelling] Maybe it is, what’s that got to do with filming a plant?
Daniel: [yelling] Exactly!
Jack: [yelling] What does that mean?!
Daniel: [yelling] I don’t know!
[Alien #1 looks from O’Neill to Daniel and back, blinking his confusion, he smiles at O’Neill and Daniel. O’Neill seems to realize they have crossed the line.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Teal’c, you don’t have to stick around.
Teal’c: Undomesticated equines could not remove me.
Jack: Wild horses Teal’c it’s… that’s a joke. You told a joke. Don’t make me laugh.
Ally: Hi!
Teal’c: [Grinning.] Greetings, Ally.
Ally: You’re okay.
Teal’c: [giving a slight nod] Thanks to you I am feeling much better.
Ally: Aw, man, it was no sweat. You look way better. I guess you can’t really tell me what happened…all that top-secret, James Bond stuff, right?
Teal’c: That is correct. To show my gratitude, I have brought you a new weapon.
[Teal’c holds up a huge Super-Soaker water gun, and Ally gasps, her eyes practically pop out of her head.]
Teal’c: One with increased range and firepower.
Ally: Wicked! This is so cool! Have any time to play?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Uh, actually we …
[A large stream of water suddenly blasts Teal’c in the chest as Ally pulls the trigger on her new toy. Teal’c slowly looks down at the wet spot on his chest while a musing Daniel wipes a little water out of his own eye, which had been hit by some of the splash. Ally giggles and runs off.]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Guess we shouldn’t have loaded it, huh?
[Teal’c pulls out some sunglasses and puts them on, while Daniel wipes away more water on his face. Teal’c then turns to Daniel.]
Teal’c: How else would she defend herself?
[Teal’c then turns his water gun on Daniel and fires point-blank range into Daniel’s chest. Daniel gasps lightly at the shock of the cold water on his chest as Teal’c takes off down the hall after Ally.]
Daniel: How else?
[Daniel wipes his eye again, then pulls his tee-shirt away from his chest and flaps it rapidly, shaking out the water.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: He saved your smarmy ass and everyone else on this planet. Does that count for anything in your world?
Colonel Harry Maybourne: Absolutely. I am thrilled to get the chance to thank him personally.
Jack: General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man.
[Maybourne looks a little nervously to General Hammond and then back to O’Neill. General Hammond looks at O’Neill with a hint of a smile on his face as he appears to be contemplating the request. O’Neill glares at Maybourne.]
General George Hammond: Do we have any idea what makes it tick?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: That’s why we’d like to go back, sir. Carter wants to get a closer look with some of her specialized do-hickeys.
Hammond: Do-hickeys?
Jack: I believe that’s the technical term, sir.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [brightly] Good morning campers.
Teal’c: Are you considering the same tactic as I?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Teal’c, the clichè is “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” And the answer’s yes.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Are you crazy? It’s a paradise.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [absently] Yeah, sure. Have an apple. What could happen?