Major Samantha Carter: It says ‘Comtraya’.
General George Hammond: What does it mean?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Ahh, it’s kinda like shalome or aloha, that stuff.
Posts Tagged ‘SciFi’
{Colonel O’Neill walks up and knocks on the door.]
General George Hammond: Come in.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: General, I’d like to talk to you about this mission upon which we are about to embark. Seems a bit…ridiculous doesn’t it?
Hammond: Have you met General Ryan?
General Michael E. Ryan: Hello, Colonel.
Jack: The General Ryan? Chief of Staff?
Ryan: That’s right.
[Jack looks stunned.]
Jack: [low, to Hammond] Shouldn’t there have been a memo or something?
Hammond: You were off world.
Jack: Ahh yeah. So what brings you to our little secret base, sir?
Ryan: That would be the ridiculous mission you just mentioned.
Jack: Of course.
Hammond: I’m proposing that M4C-862 become a permanent research station. I’d like you to make an assessment.
Jack: The General Ryan?
Ryan: I’ve read a lot about you, Colonel, from General Hammond’s reports.
Jack: Yes, sir?
Ryan: Thus far we like your work.
Jack: Thank you, sir. I like yours. Your Air Force. The Air Force. I love the Air Force.
Hammond: Anything else Colonel?
Jack: No, sir. Well, actually I’d like to know how Daniel and Carter got out of this…very important mission?
Hammond: Dr. Jackson is offworld with SG-11. Major Carter is giving a lecture at the Air Force Academy in theoretical astrophysics. If you’d care to take her place…?
Jack: No.
Hammond: Then you’re dismissed.
Jack: Thank you, sir. Sirs. Si…Both of you.
[Jack leaves.]
Ryan: Got your hands full with that one, eh, George?:
Urgo: Please. Please don’t fight, I’m here, what’s the difference how? Look, I’m not going to make another noise, not a peep, nothing. I’m going to be quiet like a little tiny mouse, not a peep. Watch. [laughing] I got an idea. Why don’t we play a game? Some sort of a wonderful game? Uh, something with a dictionary. It’s so much fun. You know, you get a word and then, ha, you write what you think the word is. Oh, it’s a lot of laughs. [points to Colonel Jack O’Neill] And educational. It’s really nice. I think you’ll like it.
[O’Neill wearily puts his head back down on the table.]
Major Samantha Carter: Well, he can’t actually make us do anything we don’t want to, sir.
Dr. Janet Frasier: Then why did I have to treat your arm for a burn? Didn’t you say Urgo was responsible?
Urgo: I didn’t mean to!
Colonel Jack O’Neill/Sam/Dr. Daniel Jackson: [in unison] He didn’t mean to.
Teal’c: It was not his intention.
[The others all look at Teal’c. Urgo gives a thumbs up.]
General George Hammond: I trust I have made my point.
Urgo: Turn me off?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [to Carter] Please.
Urgo: You’re wasting your time, it’s impossible. Hey, I got an idea, why don’t we play hide and seek? You hide, and I’ll…you know…I’m not going to cheat, you know, ’cause I have… [He covers his eyes] One, two, three, four…
General George Hammond: [to Carter]
Whatever you need, Major. Dismissed.
Urgo: Five, six…
Major Samantha Carter: Thank you.
[They all leave the room.]
Urgo: Seven, eight, nine, ten…ha, ha.
[Urgo uncovers his eyes and looks around for SG-1.]
[SG-1 are sitting at the table, with Hammond and Fraiser at one end and Urgo at the other. An airman stands guard behind him.]
Urgo: [singing] Me, me, me, me, me me me, me me, me, me, me me me. Me, me, me, me me me, me me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me… [goes low and then high] Me, me, me, me, me me me…
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [annoyed] Will you stop it?!
[Urgo shuts up. The Airman thinks O’Neill is talking to him, while Hammond and Fraiser look on in shock.]
Urgo: Yes, as in dead. They’re going to kill you. They’ll open your brains with a big, giant can opener and then they scoop me out with a big scoopy thing. That’s how it works. It’s death or me. Me or death. You’ve got to decide. Me or death.
[No one answers.]
Urgo: Well?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: We’re thinking
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Mmmm, mineral survey. My favorite.
General George Hammond: Colonel.
Jack: I know, General. It’s all fun and games until someone breaks a nail.
Major Samantha Carter: P4X 884 looks like an untouched paradise, sir.
Teal’c: Appearances may be deceiving.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: A fool’s paradise is a wise man’s hell.
Jack: Never run with… scissors?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [to General Hammond] Au revoir mon General.
Teal’c: I am unfamiliar with that term, O’Neill.
[They head up the ramp.]
Jack: Au revoir. It’s French. It means ciao. Ciao…means adios, auf weidersehen, sayonara, which all loosely translated means…
[They step through the Stargate.]
[SG-1 steps out of the Stargate back into the Gate room. Hammond and a group of armed soldiers are waiting at the bottom of the ramp, along with two MALPs.]
Jack: Goodbye?
General George Hammond: [to soldiers] Stand down.
[to SG-1] What happened?
Jack: [confused] What happened?
Hammond: That’s what I just asked you. Will someone please explain?
Major Samantha Carter: General, we just left. We went through the Gate and we came back…here.
Hammond: Major, you’ve been gone over fifteen hours.
[Carter looks shocked.]