Colonel Jack O’Neill: [to General Hammond] Au revoir mon General.
Teal’c: I am unfamiliar with that term, O’Neill.
[They head up the ramp.]
Jack: Au revoir. It’s French. It means ciao. Ciao…means adios, auf weidersehen, sayonara, which all loosely translated means…
[They step through the Stargate.]
[SG-1 steps out of the Stargate back into the Gate room. Hammond and a group of armed soldiers are waiting at the bottom of the ramp, along with two MALPs.]
Jack: Goodbye?
General George Hammond: [to soldiers] Stand down.
[to SG-1] What happened?
Jack: [confused] What happened?
Hammond: That’s what I just asked you. Will someone please explain?
Major Samantha Carter: General, we just left. We went through the Gate and we came back…here.
Hammond: Major, you’ve been gone over fifteen hours.
[Carter looks shocked.]
Samantha Carter
Stargate SG-1, Deadman Switch, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Teal’c, how fast will this unit fly?
Teal’c: I believe it is capable of traveling twice the speed of light.
Jack: Nice. Home for dinner.
Major Samantha Carter: Ah, sir, if you’re thinking of trying to steal the ship and fly it back to Earth, even at 372,000 miles per second, it would still take us at least ten years to get that far.
Jack: [pause] Shoulda let the dog out.
Stargate SG-1, The Serpent’s Lair, Quote
Master Bra’tac: The shield generators are far below. There, in the very bowels of the ship. We must climb down several decks, through the length of the ship. Then, taking our weapons, we must… [O’Neill pulls the pins on two hand-grenades and drops them into the shield generators, blowing them up.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Grenades.
Teal’c: This vessel is no longer protected by an energy field.
Captain Samantha Carter: So that’s it?
Teal’c: That is it.
Jack: I think what the Captain is asking is, “What now?”
Bra’tac: Now we die.
Jack: Well that’s a bad plan. Where are the glider bays from here?
Stargate SG-1, The Nox, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Wasn’t I just…?
Captain Samantha Carter: Killed.
Jack: Killed as in…
Sam: Dead.
Jack: Dead.
Sam: Yeah, we know. We saw it happen. Same thing happened to us.
Jack: Well, this is a surprise, then.
Stargate SG-1, The Torment of Tantalus, Quote
Captain Samantha Carter: …Where’s Daniel?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Oh, Ernest is showing him a new toy.
Sam: Really, what?
Jack: Some fancy light show that may be the key to our existence or something like that.
Stargate SG-1, Within the Serpent’s Grasp, Quote
Teal’c: If the coordinates are for a Goa’uld world which is not on the Abydos cartouche, the Goa’uld will most likely not expect us. I believe a medical attack could be successful.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Surgical attack, Teal’c. It’s called a surgical attack, and I’d feel like an idiot.
Captain Samantha Carter: Sir?
Jack: I was answering Daniel’s question. If we don’t do something now, and they do attack later, I’d feel like an idiot. We go.
Stargate SG-1, The Other Guys, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill (frustrated): What are you doing here?
Dr. Jay Felger: Stand easy, we’re here to rescue you. [Felger grins.]
Major Samantha Carter: Did he say we?
Felger: That’s right. I have Coombs with me.
[Coombs appears in the vent.]
Dr. Simon Coombs: Hi.
Jack: (sarcastically) Why, look everybody, he’s got Coombs with him.
Stargate SG-1, Lost City Part 1, Quote
SG-1 is at Jack’s house, and Daniel is a bit drunk. Daniel is balancing an orange on the top of his beer bottle. Carter hands Teal’c a glass of fruit juice, then sits, beer in hand. They are in the middle of a conversation.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: So wrong. It’s the perfect analogy. Burns as Goa’uld.
Teal’c: They are merely animated characters, O’Neill.
Jack: You’re so shallow.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh please, Teal’c’s like one of the deepest people I know, he’s sooo deep. [animated] Come, come on, tell them how deep you are. You’ll be lucky if you understand this.
Teal’c:[lifts one eyebrow] My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
Daniel: Oooh! So deep!
Jack: No more beer for you.
[Daniel’s smile disappears.]
Major Samatha Carter: I’m sorry, Sir, but I have to agree. I don’t see the connection.
Jack: Alright, that does it. You know the entire VHS collection was going to one of you? It’s going to Siler, he gets it.
[There is another knock at the door.]
Jack: Thank God, pizza.
[O’Neill goes to answer the door. He opens it to find General George Hammond standing there.]
Jack: Well, you’re not the usual delivery boy.
Stargate SG-1, Scorched Earth, Quote
Major Samantha Carter: Question is; will they listen?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Well, the real question is; will they have ears?
Stargate SG-1, Window of Opportunity, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: I distinctly remember sitting here, listening to Carter prattle on about solar activity and a… corona… something.
Major Samantha Carter: Coronal mass emissions – I was just about to bring it up.
Jack: There you go, how would I know that?
Sam: Maybe you read my report.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [Daniel taps his file on the table and speaks sarcastically to Carter…] Maybe he read your report
[O’Neill gives Daniel an annoyed look.]