Colonel Jack O’Neill: Mmmm, mineral survey. My favorite.
General George Hammond: Colonel.
Jack: I know, General. It’s all fun and games until someone breaks a nail.
Posts Tagged ‘Jack O’Neill’
Major Samantha Carter: P4X 884 looks like an untouched paradise, sir.
Teal’c: Appearances may be deceiving.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: A fool’s paradise is a wise man’s hell.
Jack: Never run with… scissors?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [to General Hammond] Au revoir mon General.
Teal’c: I am unfamiliar with that term, O’Neill.
[They head up the ramp.]
Jack: Au revoir. It’s French. It means ciao. Ciao…means adios, auf weidersehen, sayonara, which all loosely translated means…
[They step through the Stargate.]
[SG-1 steps out of the Stargate back into the Gate room. Hammond and a group of armed soldiers are waiting at the bottom of the ramp, along with two MALPs.]
Jack: Goodbye?
General George Hammond: [to soldiers] Stand down.
[to SG-1] What happened?
Jack: [confused] What happened?
Hammond: That’s what I just asked you. Will someone please explain?
Major Samantha Carter: General, we just left. We went through the Gate and we came back…here.
Hammond: Major, you’ve been gone over fifteen hours.
[Carter looks shocked.]
General George S. Hammond: Can we determine what threat they pose?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Apparently all desserts on base are in grave danger.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: No Urgo. We don’t like you.
Urgo: Admit it, tough guy. A smidgen?
Jack: No smidgen.
Urgo: I wouldn’t blame you, I have a lot of endearing qualities.
Teal’c: He will not cooperate O’Neill.
Urgo: Years from now, when you’re thinking about me, you’re going to say ‘How did I ever get along without that wonderful, constant companion?’ Woof.
Jack: Years from now?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Woof?
Dr. Janet Frasier: Ok, so what does he look like?
[Urgo stands next to her and strikes a pose.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: A famous tenor.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Hey, if you’d been listening, you’d know that Nintendos pass through everything.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I heard.
[Major Samantha Carter smiles at Jack’s misuse of the word neutrinos.]
Jack: Everything.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Jaffa jokes? Let’s hear one of them.
Teal’c: I shall attempt to translate one, O’Neill.
[Teal’c thinks]
Teal’c: I shall attempt to translate one, O’Neill. A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent Guard’s eyes glow! The Horus Guard’s beak glistens! The Setesh Guard’s…nose drips.
[He starts laughing, but stops when none of the others joins in. There is a long, awkward moment.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [to Daniel] Alright, I gotta know.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [about the mirror] Yes, I’m about to activate it.
Jack: No, no, no, no. Not that. What the hell does ‘Kree’ mean?
Daniel: Well, actually, it means a lot of things.
Jack: Uh-huh.
Daniel: Loosely translated it means attention, listen up, concentrate…
Jack: Yoo-hoo?
Daniel: Yes, in a manner of speaking.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It was a procedure often done in the Middle Ages. They… well, they – they’d drill a hole in the person’s head. By drilling a hole the evil spirits are released, thus saving the person from eternal damnation.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Thus saving the person?
Daniel: Well, they didn’t call them the Dark Ages because it was dark.