Colonel Jack O’Neill: [brightly] Good morning campers.
Stargate SG-1, Thor’s Hammer, Quote
Teal’c: Are you considering the same tactic as I?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Teal’c, the clichè is “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” And the answer’s yes.
Stargate SG-1, Brief Candle, Quote
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Are you crazy? It’s a paradise.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [absently] Yeah, sure. Have an apple. What could happen?
Stargate SG-1, Brief Candle, Quote
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [He looks around the temple] Wow… this place is incredible. It’s like we just stepped into the citadel at Mycenae.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: I thought you said it was Greek.
Daniel: Oh, uh… Mycenae was an ancient city in the Southern Peloponnesus region.
Jack: Where’s that?
Daniel: [with a slight smile] Greece.
Jack: [shaking his head] Why do I do that?
Stargate SG-1, The Nox, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [Quoting the Nox] “The very young do not always do as they’re told.”
Stargate SG-1, The Nox, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Wasn’t I just…?
Captain Samantha Carter: Killed.
Jack: Killed as in…
Sam: Dead.
Jack: Dead.
Sam: Yeah, we know. We saw it happen. Same thing happened to us.
Jack: Well, this is a surprise, then.
Stargate SG-1, Politics, Quote
Colonel JackO’Neill: That effectively shuts us down, sir.
Major General George Hammond: Very effectively. It costs nearly a billion dollars just to turn the lights on around here.
Jack: How ’bout a bake sale? Yard sale? Garage?
Hammond: This is what I look like when I’m not laughing, Colonel.
Jack: Car wash?
[Hammond suppresses a laugh.]
Jack: I’m sorry, sir.
Stargate SG-1, The Torment of Tantalus, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Well, whole boxes of material could be missing.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The Pentagon said this was everything.
Jack: Oh, please. The Pentagon’s lost entire countries.
Stargate SG-1, The Torment of Tantalus, Quote
Captain Samantha Carter: …Where’s Daniel?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Oh, Ernest is showing him a new toy.
Sam: Really, what?
Jack: Some fancy light show that may be the key to our existence or something like that.
Stargate SG-1, Brocca Divide, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [from inside] Teal’c! Doc! Open the door! Teal’c!
Teal’c: [Opens the observation panel to a normal-looking O’Neill] Colonel O’Neill?
Jack: [mimicking Ricky Ricardo] Lucy, I’m home.
Teal’c: I am not Lucy.
Jack: I know that. It was a reference to an old TV… never mind, just open the door!
Teal’c: I will summon the doctor.
Jack: No, no, c’mon I’m fine, back to being myself. Just open up.
Teal’c: I cannot be certain you are back to being yourself. You referred to me as “Lucy.”
Jack: Oh for crying out loud, will you just open the door?