Ba’al: I am Ba’al.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: That’s it? Just Ball? As in bocce?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: But we also saved your little grey butts from the Replicators, and now we want your help. I’m not asking you to change the course of their cultural development! Just fix the damn sun! No one’ll know. [waving his hand in front of him] We won’t tell.
Chief Archon: Unfortunately, we cannot.
Jack: Okay, at the risk of sounding like the petulant inferior race…why not?
[The Asgard talk amongst themselves in their own language.]
Dr Daniel Jackson: [worried] “Little Grey Butts.”
Major Samantha Carter: Yeah.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: I have great confidence in you Carter. Go on back to the SGC and… confuse Hammond.
[Major Carter answers the front door to find O’Neill and TEAL’C, in a cowboy hat, waiting for her.]
Major Samantha Carter: Hey guys, what are you doing here?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: We brought pizza and a movie.
Teal’c: Star Wars.
Jack: He’s seen it, what? Eight times?
Teal’c: Nine.
Jack: Nine times. If Teal’c likes it, it’s gotta be okay.
Sam: You’ve never seen Star Wars?
Jack: Well, you know me and sci-fi.
Dr. Svetlana Markov: We’re going to have to jump.
[Daniel looks at O’Neill, panicked.]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Out of the plane?
[Teal’c looks unsure and Major Carter closes her eyes at the thought.]
Svetlana: I’m going, with or without you, Colonel.
Colonel JackO’Neill: I suppose you expect my male bravado to kick in right about now?
Svetlana: I’ve read your file.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [finding Maybourne in the freezer] Holy frozen bad guys.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No…Their whole world is in flames, and we’re offering gasoline. How is that help?
Teal’c: We are in fact offering water.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Thank you.
Daniel Jackson: I was speaking metaphorically.
Jack: Well, stop it. It’s not fair to Teal’c.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: You’ve got that look.
Teal’c: To which look are you referring, O’Neill?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The one that says, “I have misgivings about this mission, but deep down I know we’re doing the right thing”?
Jack: No, the other one.
Daniel: [surprised] Oh.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: I’d be happy to debrief you all after I’ve debriefed myself for a nice hot shower.
Major General George Hammond: Permission to shower granted. In fact, I insist on it, Colonel.
Jack: [quietly to Daniel] Bad?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I wasn’t gonna say anything.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Where’s the fanfare, General?
Major Samantha Carter: We did kind of save the planet, sir.
Jack: Again. This should not get old, General.