Colonel Jack O’Neill: To be fair, General, I did it. Carter and Daniel protested. And Teal’c, well he really didn’t say anything but I could tell he was opposed to my actions by the way he cocked his head and sort of raised his eyebrow…
Stargate SG-1, Deadman Switch, Quote
Aris Boch: Well, uh, Teal’c is worth the most. The, uh, System Lords would love to make a good example of him. And Carter here, well, she has the memories of the Tok’ra Jolinar. And you, O’Neill, you’re considered – Well, you’re a pain in the nikta.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Neck?
Teal’c: No.
Stargate Atlantis, The Return: Part 2, Quote
Cetus [who is a Replicator]: What were you doing in the flooded sections of the city?
Major General Jack O’Neill: The backstroke… I think.
Talus [who is a Replicator]: What were you planning?
Jack: Well I was planning to retire, but man is that over rated. You know I’m not a workaholic or anything but, I need to stay active… you know, in the community… it’s a health, maintinance sort of thing.
Stargate Atlantis, The Return: Part 2, Quote
Richard Woolsey: That sounded like another explosion.
Major General Jack O’Neill: Yes, yes it did.
Woolsey: What does that mean?
Jack: Something exploded.
Stargate SG-1, The Fourth Horseman Part 2 , Quote
Prior: We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No, you’re dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn’t been quite upfront with you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Nice work on the metaphor.
Mitchell: Thank you.
Stargate SG-1, The Fourth Horseman Part 2 , Quote
[The Prior stands and notices Daniel Jackson and Cameron Mitchell standing at the outer edge of the competition circle. Mitchell casually holds the Prior’s staff.]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [tossing staff from hand to hand] You looking for this?
[The Prior reaches out. Mitchell fakes the staff being released from his grasp. SG-22 and the Sodan raise their weapons.]
Mitchell: Whoa! [Mitchell pulls the staff back confidently.] No. That’s not going to work.
[The Prior looks very confused.]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That warm, fuzzy feeling you’re experiencing may be the effects of a device that inhibiting your ability to concentrate and focus your powers.
Mitchell: Symptoms may include dizziness, irritability…
Daniel: Nausea.
Mitchell: Mild nausea, and a condition known as hot dog fingers. [Mitchell waggles his fingers in demonstration.]
Prior: It makes no difference what you do to me. But know this, the Ori are all seeing.
[Mitchell and Daniel look at the sky in false expectation. Haikon and Jolan look at each other and shake their heads.]
Prior: They are already aware of this affront to their eminence, and shall strike down those who dare to defy them.
Mitchell: Nothing yet. You?
Daniel: Drawing a blank.
[The Prior watches them incredulously.]
Daniel: A little thirsty.
Mitchell: That doesn’t count.
Daniel: No, it doesn’t.
Stargate SG-1, Ethon, Quote
Senator Jarrod Kane: [in disbelief] Don’t you ever give up?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [sighing] Not until I’m dead. [pauses] And sometimes not even then.
Stargate SG-1, Zero Hour, Quote
Sgt. Walter Harriman: General O’Neill, Mark Gilmour. He’s your new administrative aid.
Mark Gilmour: General.
Brigadier General Jack O’Neill: Did I order one of these…?
Walter: [speaking over him] No, sir.
Jack: Do I really need…?
Walter: [speaking over him] Yes, sir.
Stargate SG-1, Citizen Joe, Quote
Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter: So, any big plans for the weekend?
General Jack O’Neill: [putting the groceries on the counter] Oh yeah, big. Huge!
Sam: Yeah, me neither.
Jack: Oh, what are you talkin’ about? I just walked in with a whole handful of ingredients for my world-famous omelet!
Sam: World-famous, huh? What’s in it?
Jack: [removing bottles of beer from the grocery bags] Eggs.
Sam: I don’t think that that actually qualifies as a recipe.
Jack: Oh, don’t kid yourself. There’s a secret ingredient. I can’t tell you what it is or I’d have to shoot you.
Sam: It’s beer isn’t it?
Stargate SG-1, Moebius: Part 2, Quote
[versions of Jack O’Neill, Samantha Carter and Teal’c have travelled back in time to Egypt in the year 2995 B.C. where they meet the Daniel Jackson of the original timeline]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, this can’t be a good sign.
Alternate Col. Jack O’Neill: Why’s that?
Daniel: Where am I?
Alternate Jack: Ancient Egypt?
Daniel: No, I mean the me from your timeline.
Alternate Teal’c: I killed you.
Daniel: Why?
Alternate Teal’c: You were a Goa’uld spy.
Daniel: [matter of factly] Good reason.