Ally: Hi!
Teal’c: [Grinning.] Greetings, Ally.
Ally: You’re okay.
Teal’c: [giving a slight nod] Thanks to you I am feeling much better.
Ally: Aw, man, it was no sweat. You look way better. I guess you can’t really tell me what happened…all that top-secret, James Bond stuff, right?
Teal’c: That is correct. To show my gratitude, I have brought you a new weapon.
[Teal’c holds up a huge Super-Soaker water gun, and Ally gasps, her eyes practically pop out of her head.]
Teal’c: One with increased range and firepower.
Ally: Wicked! This is so cool! Have any time to play?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Uh, actually we …
[A large stream of water suddenly blasts Teal’c in the chest as Ally pulls the trigger on her new toy. Teal’c slowly looks down at the wet spot on his chest while a musing Daniel wipes a little water out of his own eye, which had been hit by some of the splash. Ally giggles and runs off.]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Guess we shouldn’t have loaded it, huh?
[Teal’c pulls out some sunglasses and puts them on, while Daniel wipes away more water on his face. Teal’c then turns to Daniel.]
Teal’c: How else would she defend herself?
[Teal’c then turns his water gun on Daniel and fires point-blank range into Daniel’s chest. Daniel gasps lightly at the shock of the cold water on his chest as Teal’c takes off down the hall after Ally.]
Daniel: How else?
[Daniel wipes his eye again, then pulls his tee-shirt away from his chest and flaps it rapidly, shaking out the water.]
TV/Movie quotes
Stargate SG-1, Bane, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: He saved your smarmy ass and everyone else on this planet. Does that count for anything in your world?
Colonel Harry Maybourne: Absolutely. I am thrilled to get the chance to thank him personally.
Jack: General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man.
[Maybourne looks a little nervously to General Hammond and then back to O’Neill. General Hammond looks at O’Neill with a hint of a smile on his face as he appears to be contemplating the request. O’Neill glares at Maybourne.]
Stargate SG-1, Touchstone, Quote
General George Hammond: Do we have any idea what makes it tick?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: That’s why we’d like to go back, sir. Carter wants to get a closer look with some of her specialized do-hickeys.
Hammond: Do-hickeys?
Jack: I believe that’s the technical term, sir.
Stargate SG-1, There But for the Grace of God, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [brightly] Good morning campers.
Stargate SG-1, Thor’s Hammer, Quote
Teal’c: Are you considering the same tactic as I?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Teal’c, the clichè is “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” And the answer’s yes.
Stargate SG-1, Brief Candle, Quote
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Are you crazy? It’s a paradise.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [absently] Yeah, sure. Have an apple. What could happen?
Stargate SG-1, Brief Candle, Quote
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [He looks around the temple] Wow… this place is incredible. It’s like we just stepped into the citadel at Mycenae.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: I thought you said it was Greek.
Daniel: Oh, uh… Mycenae was an ancient city in the Southern Peloponnesus region.
Jack: Where’s that?
Daniel: [with a slight smile] Greece.
Jack: [shaking his head] Why do I do that?
Stargate SG-1, The Nox, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [Quoting the Nox] “The very young do not always do as they’re told.”
Stargate SG-1, The Nox, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Wasn’t I just…?
Captain Samantha Carter: Killed.
Jack: Killed as in…
Sam: Dead.
Jack: Dead.
Sam: Yeah, we know. We saw it happen. Same thing happened to us.
Jack: Well, this is a surprise, then.
Stargate SG-1, Politics, Quote
Colonel JackO’Neill: That effectively shuts us down, sir.
Major General George Hammond: Very effectively. It costs nearly a billion dollars just to turn the lights on around here.
Jack: How ’bout a bake sale? Yard sale? Garage?
Hammond: This is what I look like when I’m not laughing, Colonel.
Jack: Car wash?
[Hammond suppresses a laugh.]
Jack: I’m sorry, sir.