Colonel Jack O’Neill: No Urgo. We don’t like you.
Urgo: Admit it, tough guy. A smidgen?
Jack: No smidgen.
Urgo: I wouldn’t blame you, I have a lot of endearing qualities.
Teal’c: He will not cooperate O’Neill.
Urgo: Years from now, when you’re thinking about me, you’re going to say ‘How did I ever get along without that wonderful, constant companion?’ Woof.
Jack: Years from now?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Woof?
Stargate SG-1 Quote
Stargate SG-1, Urgo, Quotes
Dr. Janet Frasier: Ok, so what does he look like?
[Urgo stands next to her and strikes a pose.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: A famous tenor.
Stargate SG-1, Crystal Skull ,Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Hey, if you’d been listening, you’d know that Nintendos pass through everything.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I heard.
[Major Samantha Carter smiles at Jack’s misuse of the word neutrinos.]
Jack: Everything.
Stargate SG-1, Seth, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Jaffa jokes? Let’s hear one of them.
Teal’c: I shall attempt to translate one, O’Neill.
[Teal’c thinks]
Teal’c: I shall attempt to translate one, O’Neill. A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent Guard’s eyes glow! The Horus Guard’s beak glistens! The Setesh Guard’s…nose drips.
[He starts laughing, but stops when none of the others joins in. There is a long, awkward moment.]
Stargate SG-1, Point of View, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [to Daniel] Alright, I gotta know.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [about the mirror] Yes, I’m about to activate it.
Jack: No, no, no, no. Not that. What the hell does ‘Kree’ mean?
Daniel: Well, actually, it means a lot of things.
Jack: Uh-huh.
Daniel: Loosely translated it means attention, listen up, concentrate…
Jack: Yoo-hoo?
Daniel: Yes, in a manner of speaking.
Stargate SG-1, Demons, Quote
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It was a procedure often done in the Middle Ages. They… well, they – they’d drill a hole in the person’s head. By drilling a hole the evil spirits are released, thus saving the person from eternal damnation.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Thus saving the person?
Daniel: Well, they didn’t call them the Dark Ages because it was dark.
Stargate SG-1, Deadman Switch, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Teal’c, how fast will this unit fly?
Teal’c: I believe it is capable of traveling twice the speed of light.
Jack: Nice. Home for dinner.
Major Samantha Carter: Ah, sir, if you’re thinking of trying to steal the ship and fly it back to Earth, even at 372,000 miles per second, it would still take us at least ten years to get that far.
Jack: [pause] Shoulda let the dog out.
Stargate SG-1, The Serpent’s Lair, Quote
Master Bra’tac: The shield generators are far below. There, in the very bowels of the ship. We must climb down several decks, through the length of the ship. Then, taking our weapons, we must… [O’Neill pulls the pins on two hand-grenades and drops them into the shield generators, blowing them up.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Grenades.
Teal’c: This vessel is no longer protected by an energy field.
Captain Samantha Carter: So that’s it?
Teal’c: That is it.
Jack: I think what the Captain is asking is, “What now?”
Bra’tac: Now we die.
Jack: Well that’s a bad plan. Where are the glider bays from here?
Stargate SG-1, 1969, Quote
Major Robert Thornbird: What was the weapon you used? [He takes another puff on the cigarette.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [blinks] Weapon?
Thornbird: Our cameras saw some sort of weapon.
Jack: Oh, well it’s hard to say.
Thornbird: Some sort of state secret?
Jack: No. Just difficult to pronounce.
Stargate SG-1, 1969, Quote
Soldier: [speaking Russian] You Soviet spies?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Nyet. [Translation: No.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Daniel?
Daniel: He just asked if we were Soviet spies. I just…
[He stops, realizing his error. O’Neill gives him a look, unable to believe this one.]