[Major Carter answers the front door to find O’Neill and TEAL’C, in a cowboy hat, waiting for her.]
Major Samantha Carter: Hey guys, what are you doing here?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: We brought pizza and a movie.
Teal’c: Star Wars.
Jack: He’s seen it, what? Eight times?
Teal’c: Nine.
Jack: Nine times. If Teal’c likes it, it’s gotta be okay.
Sam: You’ve never seen Star Wars?
Jack: Well, you know me and sci-fi.
Stargate SG-1 Quote
Stargate SG-1, Watergate, Quote
Dr. Svetlana Markov: We’re going to have to jump.
[Daniel looks at O’Neill, panicked.]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Out of the plane?
[Teal’c looks unsure and Major Carter closes her eyes at the thought.]
Svetlana: I’m going, with or without you, Colonel.
Colonel JackO’Neill: I suppose you expect my male bravado to kick in right about now?
Svetlana: I’ve read your file.
Stargate SG-1, Watergate, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [finding Maybourne in the freezer] Holy frozen bad guys.
Stargate SG-1, The Other Side, Quote
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No…Their whole world is in flames, and we’re offering gasoline. How is that help?
Teal’c: We are in fact offering water.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Thank you.
Daniel Jackson: I was speaking metaphorically.
Jack: Well, stop it. It’s not fair to Teal’c.
Stargate SG-1, The Other Side, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: You’ve got that look.
Teal’c: To which look are you referring, O’Neill?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The one that says, “I have misgivings about this mission, but deep down I know we’re doing the right thing”?
Jack: No, the other one.
Daniel: [surprised] Oh.
Stargate SG-1, Small Victories, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: I’d be happy to debrief you all after I’ve debriefed myself for a nice hot shower.
Major General George Hammond: Permission to shower granted. In fact, I insist on it, Colonel.
Jack: [quietly to Daniel] Bad?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I wasn’t gonna say anything.
Stargate SG-1, Small Victories, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Where’s the fanfare, General?
Major Samantha Carter: We did kind of save the planet, sir.
Jack: Again. This should not get old, General.
Stargate SG-1, The Curse, Quote
[Colonel O’Neill is sitting fishing. Teal’c is standing next to him staring at a rod.]
Teal’c: There appears to be no fish here, O’Neill.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: T, it’s not about the actual fish, themselves. Fish are not important in this context. It’s about fish-ing, the act of fishing itself.
Teal’c: I see.
[Sound of a cell phone ringing. O’Neill looks around.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: You didn’t?
Teal’c: By request of General Hammond.
[O’Neill reaches around into a bag behind him and picks out the phone. He answers it.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [mutters] No way.
[Teal’c slaps a mosquito as Jack answers phone shouting]
Jack: What?
Jack: [calmer] Yes Daniel, he’s right here. Please hold. [hands the phone to Teal’c]
Teal’c: Daniel Jackson. We have caught nothing. We are fishing.
Stargate SG-1, Double Jeopardy, Quote
Major General George Hammond: Colonel O’Neill, it was my understanding that the robots agreed to bury their Stargate and never leave their planet.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [pause] Ahhh, yes sir…
Hammond: Then it would seem that your robot counterpart is equally as good at following orders as you.
Stargate SG-1, Double Jeopardy, Quote
Major Samantha Carter: It says ‘Comtraya’.
General George Hammond: What does it mean?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Ahh, it’s kinda like shalome or aloha, that stuff.