Aris Boch: Well, uh, Teal’c is worth the most. The, uh, System Lords would love to make a good example of him. And Carter here, well, she has the memories of the Tok’ra Jolinar. And you, O’Neill, you’re considered – Well, you’re a pain in the nikta.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Neck?
Teal’c: No.
Archive for the ‘Stargate SG-1 Quote’ Category
Prior: We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: No, you’re dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen. Unfortunately, the home office hasn’t been quite upfront with you.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Nice work on the metaphor.
Mitchell: Thank you.
[The Prior stands and notices Daniel Jackson and Cameron Mitchell standing at the outer edge of the competition circle. Mitchell casually holds the Prior’s staff.]
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell: [tossing staff from hand to hand] You looking for this?
[The Prior reaches out. Mitchell fakes the staff being released from his grasp. SG-22 and the Sodan raise their weapons.]
Mitchell: Whoa! [Mitchell pulls the staff back confidently.] No. That’s not going to work.
[The Prior looks very confused.]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That warm, fuzzy feeling you’re experiencing may be the effects of a device that inhibiting your ability to concentrate and focus your powers.
Mitchell: Symptoms may include dizziness, irritability…
Daniel: Nausea.
Mitchell: Mild nausea, and a condition known as hot dog fingers. [Mitchell waggles his fingers in demonstration.]
Prior: It makes no difference what you do to me. But know this, the Ori are all seeing.
[Mitchell and Daniel look at the sky in false expectation. Haikon and Jolan look at each other and shake their heads.]
Prior: They are already aware of this affront to their eminence, and shall strike down those who dare to defy them.
Mitchell: Nothing yet. You?
Daniel: Drawing a blank.
[The Prior watches them incredulously.]
Daniel: A little thirsty.
Mitchell: That doesn’t count.
Daniel: No, it doesn’t.
Senator Jarrod Kane: [in disbelief] Don’t you ever give up?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [sighing] Not until I’m dead. [pauses] And sometimes not even then.
Sgt. Walter Harriman: General O’Neill, Mark Gilmour. He’s your new administrative aid.
Mark Gilmour: General.
Brigadier General Jack O’Neill: Did I order one of these…?
Walter: [speaking over him] No, sir.
Jack: Do I really need…?
Walter: [speaking over him] Yes, sir.
Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter: So, any big plans for the weekend?
General Jack O’Neill: [putting the groceries on the counter] Oh yeah, big. Huge!
Sam: Yeah, me neither.
Jack: Oh, what are you talkin’ about? I just walked in with a whole handful of ingredients for my world-famous omelet!
Sam: World-famous, huh? What’s in it?
Jack: [removing bottles of beer from the grocery bags] Eggs.
Sam: I don’t think that that actually qualifies as a recipe.
Jack: Oh, don’t kid yourself. There’s a secret ingredient. I can’t tell you what it is or I’d have to shoot you.
Sam: It’s beer isn’t it?
[versions of Jack O’Neill, Samantha Carter and Teal’c have travelled back in time to Egypt in the year 2995 B.C. where they meet the Daniel Jackson of the original timeline]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, this can’t be a good sign.
Alternate Col. Jack O’Neill: Why’s that?
Daniel: Where am I?
Alternate Jack: Ancient Egypt?
Daniel: No, I mean the me from your timeline.
Alternate Teal’c: I killed you.
Daniel: Why?
Alternate Teal’c: You were a Goa’uld spy.
Daniel: [matter of factly] Good reason.
[O’Neill and Daniel are walking side by side down a corridor.]
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Teal’c and Bra’tac believe that the only way to eliminate all of the System Lords is to recruit as many Jaffa into the Fifth Column as possible. Now only when their numbers are sufficient would it be possible to rise up and unilaterally destroy all the Goa’uld at once. Even then, Ba’al controls the Super Soldier army, which cannot be turned.
[A voice announces an incoming wormhole as the lights and sirens signal.]
Daniel: So even if the rebel Jaffa can someday take out the majority of the System Lords, there’d still be a massive war to fight. The problem is though, Ishta doesn’t wanna wait. Moloc is continuing to order the deaths of all female Jaffa born in his domain. And her underground railroad to Haktyl can’t save them all.
[O’Neill starts to go down the wrong corridor but then turns back and catches up with Daniel.]
Daniel: Even now she’s organizing a rebellion to overthrow Moloc. Now Teal’c and Bra’tac are trying to convince her to see the bigger picture.
Brigadier General Jack O’Neill: What was my question again?
Daniel: Um, “How’s it going?”
Jack: It seemed so innocuous at the time.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: What’s your situation?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I’m hiding. What’s yours?
Jack: Carter and I are on the planet.
Daniel: You’re gonna have to be a little more specific, Jack. I haven’t had a chance to look out a window lately.
Jack: You’re hovering over Jonas’ home world.
Daniel: Why?
Jack: I wish I knew. Are you in any immediate danger?
Daniel: Depends what you mean by immediate.
Jack: Daniel!
Daniel: I’m fine. I got a location on Jonas’ cell from the ship’s computer. I’m on my way there right now. I just gotta couple of problems.
Jack: Like what?
Daniel: Well, I’m not sure how to shut off the force field protecting his cell, yet.
Jack: You said a couple?
Daniel: Yeah, actually, I’m a little lost at the moment. And I’ve only got about, uh, three hours left before the Tok’ra isotope wears off and I’m visible to the ships sensors.
Jack: So business as usual then, huh?
Daniel: I dunno. Is it?
Jack: Yes, we do this kinda thing all the time.
Daniel: Oh well, good. That’s-that’s comforting, then.
Khordib: He is Jaffa.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: No, but he plays one on TV.