[They enter the temple which is lit by candles. There is no one around. Colonel Jack O’Neill glances towards Dr. Daniel Jackson and Master Bra’tac, and when he looks back there is monk standing before him.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Hey, whoa! Where’d you come from?
Monk: I have been here for some time.
Jack: No. You weren’t here when we just came in.
Monk: Here is everywhere you are.
Jack: Excuse me?
Archive for the ‘Stargate SG-1 Quote’ Category
SG-1 is at Jack’s house, and Daniel is a bit drunk. Daniel is balancing an orange on the top of his beer bottle. Carter hands Teal’c a glass of fruit juice, then sits, beer in hand. They are in the middle of a conversation.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: So wrong. It’s the perfect analogy. Burns as Goa’uld.
Teal’c: They are merely animated characters, O’Neill.
Jack: You’re so shallow.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Oh please, Teal’c’s like one of the deepest people I know, he’s sooo deep. [animated] Come, come on, tell them how deep you are. You’ll be lucky if you understand this.
Teal’c:[lifts one eyebrow] My depth is immaterial to this conversation.
Daniel: Oooh! So deep!
Jack: No more beer for you.
[Daniel’s smile disappears.]
Major Samatha Carter: I’m sorry, Sir, but I have to agree. I don’t see the connection.
Jack: Alright, that does it. You know the entire VHS collection was going to one of you? It’s going to Siler, he gets it.
[There is another knock at the door.]
Jack: Thank God, pizza.
[O’Neill goes to answer the door. He opens it to find General George Hammond standing there.]
Jack: Well, you’re not the usual delivery boy.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Are those doughnuts?
Teal’c: Indeed.
Jack: [impersonating Montgomery Burns] Ex-cellent.
Dr. Simon Coombs: Oh, please, huh? They’re just tired of your butt-snorkling.
Dr. Simon Coombs: Oh, come on, Felger. We might as well be wearin’ red shirts.
Dr. Jay Felger: I don’t get that.
[Maybourne tosses an explosive in the lake to ‘catch’ some fish]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: That’s just wrong on so many levels.
[imitating a tour guide in what was once Stargate Command]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: …and we’re walking.
Colonel Harry Maybourne: Hi, Jack.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: You rat bastard.
Harry: Hey, hey, hey… take it easy.
Jack: I am SO gonna kick your ass.
They chase each other round the truck.
Harry: Look there are people watching.
Jack: I don’t care!
Harry: Look it wasn’t me. I didn’t shoot you, Jack.
General Vidrine: I always like to get a view of the man in the cockpit. How does she fly, son?
Teal’c: The vehicle performed within expected parameters.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Woohoo… [pause after looking at General Vidrine] Sorry Sir. I couldn’t help but get caught up in Teal’c’s enthusiasm.
Major Samantha Carter: Question is; will they listen?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Well, the real question is; will they have ears?