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Excuse me?

 Ok.  On a Top Gear theme.  My girlfriend alerted me to Richard Hammond’s lastest mastery of the english language.

 Richard Hammond on: sport buttons

Here are 2 quotes from it.

 “And then, like an alarm clock strapped to a stick of dynamite, the rev-counter’s needle ticked up to 7,500rpm, and all hell was let loose. Suddenly, my eyes made a dive for my neck, my stomach and lungs were straining to escape backwards out of my riding jeans, and the scenery to either side went all stretchy and thin. ”

And

“Kermit had gone crazy, pulled out a death ray, bitten the head off a chicken, drunk eight litres of tequila and shagged Miss Piggy in a skip outside a nightclub.”

And what does that have to do with a “sport button” (which supposedly changes the suspension in a car to make it stiffer and better handling)? You’ll have to read the article and find out.

The Hidden City (Tamuli Part 3) Quote

“It’s been said that the quest for truth is the noblest occupation of man, but there be dragons lurking in the dark forests of ignorance. And the names of these dragons are ‘Incompetence’ and ‘Political Bias’ and ‘Deliberate Distortion’ and ‘Sheer, Wrongheaded Stupidity.’ Our gallant friends here in Contemporary History bravely sallied forth to do battle with these dragons in their recently published ‘Cyrga Affair.’ It is with the deepest regret that I must inform you that the dragons won.”
Professor Itagne, Foreign Affairs Department, University of Matherion

The Hidden City, Tamuli Part 3
David Eddings

Quotes

“Zahi Hawass doesn’t know anything about the living. He only concentrate on the dead.” Dr. Zahi Hawass on himself.

Marriage

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last – more than passion or even sex!” Simone Signoret

Marriage Quote

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Mignon McLaughlin

Love Quote

~ Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. ~ Amy Bloom

Brooks’ Law

Brooks’ Law:
“Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.”
 
Who said it: Frederick P Brooks, Jr. in The Mythical Man-Month 1975
 
What it means: Getting new team members up to speed delays development even more than just finishing the job with the existing team.
What too many people think it means: A crazy idea. If throwing more people at the problem doesn’t help how could it hurt?
Why the difference matters: Developing systems isn’t like picking sweet corn. Until we all understand that, we’ll keep wasting the time and people we throw at projects that slip their schedules.
 
From Computer World’s column Frankly Speaking by Frank Hayes (currently it’s hanging on my wall). Don’t ask me when. It’s old.

Douglas Adams Quote

It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the product of a deranged imagination.
Douglas Adams
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Douglas Adams Quote

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.
Douglas Adams
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe