Teats on a Bull

Sheriff Jack Carter: What’s next? They’re going to classify the contents of my fridge, my underwear drawer?
Dr. Allison Blake: You think agents of a foreign government would be after your underwear?
Jack: Maybe. I can be pretty up when I want to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deputy Jo Lupo: It’s called a senior moment. Soon you’ll be driving with just that one right blinker going nonstop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Henry Deacon: I can put that under a UV scope.  It’ll high… [watching Jack color on the ticket with the side of a pencil] Or you could just draw over it. Same thing.

Deputy Jo Lupo: Carter, this is a town full of scientist. Everyone knows there’s no such thing as ghosts.
Susan Perkins: Where’s Walter?
Sheriff Jack Carter: [looking at Susan Perkins who was just buried] Um… You were saying?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheriff Jack Carter: It’s not like we have a standard form to undead you.
Deputy Jo Lupo: clears throat
Jack: Tell me you’re kidding.
Jo: 924 slash B. In triplicate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Allison Blake: But we’re still going to need to do some digging.
Sheriff Jack Carter:  Awww… You mean I gotta go back to the…
Allison: Yes.
Jack: Well, someone’s gotta get me a cor…
Allison: That’s right.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheriff Jack Carter: [watching Henry putting his Coronor tag on his overalls]
 County Coronor, huh?
Dr. Henry Deacon: Board certified.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Henry Deacon [after Jack told him to pull the batteries from his Omniversal Remote]: Batteries. Now why didn’t I think of that?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Douglas Fargo: Um… You might want to be careful with this. It’s a portable generator.
Sheriff Jack Carter: So?
Fargo: A fission-powered portable generator.
Jack: Ok. Don’t sleep on the nuclear powered device. Good safety tip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheriff Jack Carter [after seeing the outside of SARAH]: I’m going back to my cell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Douglas Fargo: Bathroom.
Sheriff Jack Carter: Oh, Fargo, you gotta get yourself a girlfriend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheriff Jack Carter [after being left alone with SARAH]: I’m a human guinea pig.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Susan Perkins: Yes! I am Susan Perkins. Back from the grave. Everyone take a good look.
Dr. Allison Carter: Ah. You feel better now?
Susan: Yeah, a little.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheriff Jack Carter: Do ghosts have frequencies?
Dr. Henry Deacon: Oh. We’re gonna need a bigger battery.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheriff Jack Carter: I gotta fill out a report on this anyway, and I still don’t know how to spell corporeal, so…
Dr. Henry Deacon: C-O-R-P-O-R-E-A-L.

Marshal Jack Carter: Let’s not shoot the crazy-end-of-the-world machine just yet okay?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marshal Jack Carter: You’ve had problems before.
Dr. Allison Blake: Ocassionally.
Jack: Like?
Allison: Global Warming.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sheriff Jack Carter: Not the promotion you were hoping for. No big deal. You can do this Jack.