[SG-1 are sitting at the table, with Hammond and Fraiser at one end and Urgo at the other. An airman stands guard behind him.]
Urgo: [singing] Me, me, me, me, me me me, me me, me, me, me me me. Me, me, me, me me me, me me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me… [goes low and then high] Me, me, me, me, me me me…
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [annoyed] Will you stop it?!
[Urgo shuts up. The Airman thinks O’Neill is talking to him, while Hammond and Fraiser look on in shock.]
Archives for 2008
Stargate SG-1, Urgo, Quote
Urgo: Yes, as in dead. They’re going to kill you. They’ll open your brains with a big, giant can opener and then they scoop me out with a big scoopy thing. That’s how it works. It’s death or me. Me or death. You’ve got to decide. Me or death.
[No one answers.]
Urgo: Well?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: We’re thinking
Stargate SG-1, Urgo, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Mmmm, mineral survey. My favorite.
General George Hammond: Colonel.
Jack: I know, General. It’s all fun and games until someone breaks a nail.
Stargate SG-1, Urgo, Quote
Major Samantha Carter: P4X 884 looks like an untouched paradise, sir.
Teal’c: Appearances may be deceiving.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: A fool’s paradise is a wise man’s hell.
Jack: Never run with… scissors?
Stargate SG-1, Urgo, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [to General Hammond] Au revoir mon General.
Teal’c: I am unfamiliar with that term, O’Neill.
[They head up the ramp.]
Jack: Au revoir. It’s French. It means ciao. Ciao…means adios, auf weidersehen, sayonara, which all loosely translated means…
[They step through the Stargate.]
[SG-1 steps out of the Stargate back into the Gate room. Hammond and a group of armed soldiers are waiting at the bottom of the ramp, along with two MALPs.]
Jack: Goodbye?
General George Hammond: [to soldiers] Stand down.
[to SG-1] What happened?
Jack: [confused] What happened?
Hammond: That’s what I just asked you. Will someone please explain?
Major Samantha Carter: General, we just left. We went through the Gate and we came back…here.
Hammond: Major, you’ve been gone over fifteen hours.
[Carter looks shocked.]
Stargate SG-1, Urgo, Quote
General George S. Hammond: Can we determine what threat they pose?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Apparently all desserts on base are in grave danger.
Stargate SG-1, Urgo, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: No Urgo. We don’t like you.
Urgo: Admit it, tough guy. A smidgen?
Jack: No smidgen.
Urgo: I wouldn’t blame you, I have a lot of endearing qualities.
Teal’c: He will not cooperate O’Neill.
Urgo: Years from now, when you’re thinking about me, you’re going to say ‘How did I ever get along without that wonderful, constant companion?’ Woof.
Jack: Years from now?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Woof?
Stargate SG-1, Urgo, Quotes
Dr. Janet Frasier: Ok, so what does he look like?
[Urgo stands next to her and strikes a pose.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: A famous tenor.
Stargate SG-1, Crystal Skull ,Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Hey, if you’d been listening, you’d know that Nintendos pass through everything.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I heard.
[Major Samantha Carter smiles at Jack’s misuse of the word neutrinos.]
Jack: Everything.
Stargate SG-1, Seth, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Jaffa jokes? Let’s hear one of them.
Teal’c: I shall attempt to translate one, O’Neill.
[Teal’c thinks]
Teal’c: I shall attempt to translate one, O’Neill. A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent Guard’s eyes glow! The Horus Guard’s beak glistens! The Setesh Guard’s…nose drips.
[He starts laughing, but stops when none of the others joins in. There is a long, awkward moment.]