Colonel Jack O’Neill: [finding Maybourne in the freezer] Holy frozen bad guys.
Archives for August 2008
Stargate SG-1, The Other Side, Quote
Dr. Daniel Jackson: No…Their whole world is in flames, and we’re offering gasoline. How is that help?
Teal’c: We are in fact offering water.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Thank you.
Daniel Jackson: I was speaking metaphorically.
Jack: Well, stop it. It’s not fair to Teal’c.
Stargate SG-1, The Other Side, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: You’ve got that look.
Teal’c: To which look are you referring, O’Neill?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: The one that says, “I have misgivings about this mission, but deep down I know we’re doing the right thing”?
Jack: No, the other one.
Daniel: [surprised] Oh.
Stargate SG-1, Small Victories, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: I’d be happy to debrief you all after I’ve debriefed myself for a nice hot shower.
Major General George Hammond: Permission to shower granted. In fact, I insist on it, Colonel.
Jack: [quietly to Daniel] Bad?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I wasn’t gonna say anything.
Stargate SG-1, Small Victories, Quote
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Where’s the fanfare, General?
Major Samantha Carter: We did kind of save the planet, sir.
Jack: Again. This should not get old, General.
Stargate SG-1, The Curse, Quote
[Colonel O’Neill is sitting fishing. Teal’c is standing next to him staring at a rod.]
Teal’c: There appears to be no fish here, O’Neill.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: T, it’s not about the actual fish, themselves. Fish are not important in this context. It’s about fish-ing, the act of fishing itself.
Teal’c: I see.
[Sound of a cell phone ringing. O’Neill looks around.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: You didn’t?
Teal’c: By request of General Hammond.
[O’Neill reaches around into a bag behind him and picks out the phone. He answers it.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [mutters] No way.
[Teal’c slaps a mosquito as Jack answers phone shouting]
Jack: What?
Jack: [calmer] Yes Daniel, he’s right here. Please hold. [hands the phone to Teal’c]
Teal’c: Daniel Jackson. We have caught nothing. We are fishing.
Stargate SG-1, Double Jeopardy, Quote
Major General George Hammond: Colonel O’Neill, it was my understanding that the robots agreed to bury their Stargate and never leave their planet.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [pause] Ahhh, yes sir…
Hammond: Then it would seem that your robot counterpart is equally as good at following orders as you.
Stargate SG-1, Double Jeopardy, Quote
Major Samantha Carter: It says ‘Comtraya’.
General George Hammond: What does it mean?
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Ahh, it’s kinda like shalome or aloha, that stuff.
Stargate SG-1, Prodigy, Quote
{Colonel O’Neill walks up and knocks on the door.]
General George Hammond: Come in.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: General, I’d like to talk to you about this mission upon which we are about to embark. Seems a bit…ridiculous doesn’t it?
Hammond: Have you met General Ryan?
General Michael E. Ryan: Hello, Colonel.
Jack: The General Ryan? Chief of Staff?
Ryan: That’s right.
[Jack looks stunned.]
Jack: [low, to Hammond] Shouldn’t there have been a memo or something?
Hammond: You were off world.
Jack: Ahh yeah. So what brings you to our little secret base, sir?
Ryan: That would be the ridiculous mission you just mentioned.
Jack: Of course.
Hammond: I’m proposing that M4C-862 become a permanent research station. I’d like you to make an assessment.
Jack: The General Ryan?
Ryan: I’ve read a lot about you, Colonel, from General Hammond’s reports.
Jack: Yes, sir?
Ryan: Thus far we like your work.
Jack: Thank you, sir. I like yours. Your Air Force. The Air Force. I love the Air Force.
Hammond: Anything else Colonel?
Jack: No, sir. Well, actually I’d like to know how Daniel and Carter got out of this…very important mission?
Hammond: Dr. Jackson is offworld with SG-11. Major Carter is giving a lecture at the Air Force Academy in theoretical astrophysics. If you’d care to take her place…?
Jack: No.
Hammond: Then you’re dismissed.
Jack: Thank you, sir. Sirs. Si…Both of you.
[Jack leaves.]
Ryan: Got your hands full with that one, eh, George?:
Stargate SG-1, Urgo, Quote
Urgo: Please. Please don’t fight, I’m here, what’s the difference how? Look, I’m not going to make another noise, not a peep, nothing. I’m going to be quiet like a little tiny mouse, not a peep. Watch. [laughing] I got an idea. Why don’t we play a game? Some sort of a wonderful game? Uh, something with a dictionary. It’s so much fun. You know, you get a word and then, ha, you write what you think the word is. Oh, it’s a lot of laughs. [points to Colonel Jack O’Neill] And educational. It’s really nice. I think you’ll like it.
[O’Neill wearily puts his head back down on the table.]