Colonel Jack O’Neill: Hey, if you’d been listening, you’d know that Nintendos pass through everything.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: I heard.
[Major Samantha Carter smiles at Jack’s misuse of the word neutrinos.]
Jack: Everything.
Archive for August 2008
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Jaffa jokes? Let’s hear one of them.
Teal’c: I shall attempt to translate one, O’Neill.
[Teal’c thinks]
Teal’c: I shall attempt to translate one, O’Neill. A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent Guard’s eyes glow! The Horus Guard’s beak glistens! The Setesh Guard’s…nose drips.
[He starts laughing, but stops when none of the others joins in. There is a long, awkward moment.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [to Daniel] Alright, I gotta know.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: [about the mirror] Yes, I’m about to activate it.
Jack: No, no, no, no. Not that. What the hell does ‘Kree’ mean?
Daniel: Well, actually, it means a lot of things.
Jack: Uh-huh.
Daniel: Loosely translated it means attention, listen up, concentrate…
Jack: Yoo-hoo?
Daniel: Yes, in a manner of speaking.
Dr. Daniel Jackson: It was a procedure often done in the Middle Ages. They… well, they – they’d drill a hole in the person’s head. By drilling a hole the evil spirits are released, thus saving the person from eternal damnation.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Thus saving the person?
Daniel: Well, they didn’t call them the Dark Ages because it was dark.
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Teal’c, how fast will this unit fly?
Teal’c: I believe it is capable of traveling twice the speed of light.
Jack: Nice. Home for dinner.
Major Samantha Carter: Ah, sir, if you’re thinking of trying to steal the ship and fly it back to Earth, even at 372,000 miles per second, it would still take us at least ten years to get that far.
Jack: [pause] Shoulda let the dog out.
I love cats. I better – I have 8. Ish… An 11 year old, 4 3 year olds, and 3 2 year olds. All of them have grown out of their kittenhood. Here`s the thing about our guy`s – they aren`t bored. A bored cat is a destructive cat.
Cats grow up so fast. Kittens are adorable. They have to be, otherwise we`d kill them. They pack all the fun and the rambunctiousness of childhood into 1 year. Everything is a toy. Everything. And they are as clumsy as an elephant on roller skates. If there is something to knock over … just like a kid … they will knock it over. And then give you a look of … “I didn`t do that. You didn`t see anything. Can`t prove nothing.” The best way to deal with knocking over phase … move your stuff. Or get ready to pick up your stuff on a regular basis. But watch out for glass. It can cut paws or nosy noses that are curious about what they just did.
If you have 1 kitten you will need to make sure the little guy has lots of kitty approved toys. And be ready to play with them. Yes… you as a “parent” need to supply interaction with the “kid.” It really does help keep them from getting bored and destructive. And destructive is bad – very bad. Also if you have an older cat, don`t expect the older cat to pay attention or even like the kitten. Don`t expect them to get along. Detante may be the best you`ll ever get. Don`t forget to give both cats attention. They will get jealous of one another.
If you have a pair (or more) of babies they will entertain themselves to a certain extent – increasing the chase factor and the knock over potential (but it`s so much fun to watch). Toys and interaction are still very much needed for multiple cats. It also creates a bond between you and the kitten.
One more essential “toy” is a scratching post. They are essential for climbing, sharpening, playing, and napping. I have 4. 1 small, 2 medium, and 1 floor to ceiling. I also have several scratching pads – flat things for the cats to pick at to help keep the claws under control.
The good news is that kittenhood only lasts for about a year. Its also the bad news. There is nothing cuter than a kitten. It may seem like the kitten will never grow out of being a maniac… but take my word for it… they will. And a happy kitty is a good kitty.
Master Bra’tac: The shield generators are far below. There, in the very bowels of the ship. We must climb down several decks, through the length of the ship. Then, taking our weapons, we must… [O’Neill pulls the pins on two hand-grenades and drops them into the shield generators, blowing them up.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Grenades.
Teal’c: This vessel is no longer protected by an energy field.
Captain Samantha Carter: So that’s it?
Teal’c: That is it.
Jack: I think what the Captain is asking is, “What now?”
Bra’tac: Now we die.
Jack: Well that’s a bad plan. Where are the glider bays from here?
Major Robert Thornbird: What was the weapon you used? [He takes another puff on the cigarette.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: [blinks] Weapon?
Thornbird: Our cameras saw some sort of weapon.
Jack: Oh, well it’s hard to say.
Thornbird: Some sort of state secret?
Jack: No. Just difficult to pronounce.
Soldier: [speaking Russian] You Soviet spies?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: Nyet. [Translation: No.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Daniel?
Daniel: He just asked if we were Soviet spies. I just…
[He stops, realizing his error. O’Neill gives him a look, unable to believe this one.]
Colonel Jack O’Neill: Teal’c, look scary and take point.