Ok.  On a Top Gear theme.  My girlfriend alerted me to Richard Hammond’s lastest mastery of the english language.

 Richard Hammond on: sport buttons

Here are 2 quotes from it.

 ”And then, like an alarm clock strapped to a stick of dynamite, the rev-counter’s needle ticked up to 7,500rpm, and all hell was let loose. Suddenly, my eyes made a dive for my neck, my stomach and lungs were straining to escape backwards out of my riding jeans, and the scenery to either side went all stretchy and thin. ”

And

“It’s been said that the quest for truth is the noblest occupation of man, but there be dragons lurking in the dark forests of ignorance. And the names of these dragons are ‘Incompetence’ and ‘Political Bias’ and ‘Deliberate Distortion’ and ‘Sheer, Wrongheaded Stupidity.’ Our gallant friends here in Contemporary History bravely sallied forth to do battle with these dragons in their recently published ‘Cyrga Affair.’ It is with the deepest regret that I must inform you that the dragons won.”
Professor Itagne, Foreign Affairs Department, University of Matherion

The Hidden City, Tamuli Part 3
David Eddings

“Zahi Hawass doesn’t know anything about the living. He only concentrate on the dead.” Dr. Zahi Hawass on himself.

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last – more than passion or even sex!” Simone Signoret

~ Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. ~ Amy Bloom

It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the product of a deranged imagination.
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Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
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The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in Life, the Universe, and Everything

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.
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The Restaurant at the End of the Universe