This is my Ode to Broccoli.

I will not eat it in a stew
I will not eat it, not with you

I will not eat it in a pinch
I will not eat it with the grinch

I will not eat it on the run
I will not eat it just for fun

I will not eat it just for lunch
I will not eat just one little bunch

I will not eat this yucky food.
I will not eat it, I might be sued.

I will not eat it on a bus.
If I eat it, I might just cuss

Life isn’t like a box of chocolates.
It’s more like a jar of jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.

A fool is a terrible thing to have around, but a  fool with energy is a nightmare.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

Life… it’s terminal.

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

Teal’c: To resist the influence of others knowledge of oneself is most important.

If an illegal alien is an undocumented immigrant, why isn’t a drug dealer a unlicensed pharmacist?