I’ve been huntin’ hogs since Moby Dick was a sardine.
Jerry Dean Campbell – American Hoggers

Tickle: I’m not gonna lie to you. I don’t think anybody would’ve know under here, was down here.

“Rise ‘n Shine!” Moonshiners
11/7/12 air date

Series 14 Episode 6 (118 show) original air date 12-27-09.
The Bolivia Special

Richard Hammond: We’re close to the equator.
Jeremy Clarkson: We’re very close to it. Perhaps we’re on it.
Richard: No we can’t be. We’d see it … a big dotted line.

2010 Special (126 show) original air date 12/26/10
Middle East Special

Jeremy Clarkson: This is an outrage. This is just astonishing, this road. I want to marry it and have it’s babies.

Series 13, Episode 2 (107 show) original air date 06/28/09
What is the perfect car for 17 year olds for £2,500?

[after equiping a Volvo wagon wagon with a water lie-low (mattress) with a leopard print throw and some shag bumpers.]

Jeremy Clarkson: [reading from the card] “‘The Festival Test’: You’ve been at Glastenbury for the weekend, it’s finished, and now it’s a straight race to see who can pack all their camping equipment and stuff into their car and get out of the park.” How hard can it be?
Richard Hammond: Don’t say that!
[after the guys begin packing]
Jeremy: Guys! Problem!
Richard: What?
Jeremy: I’ve shoved my “anarchy” flag through my water lie-low.
Richard: Noboby’s ever said that before.

Series 15, Episode 2 (121 show) original air date 07/27/10
The team attempts to find a second-hand sports saloon that is suitable for everyday tasks and track days on a budget of £5,000.

[On the German Stig]
James May: No, hang on.
Jeremy Clarkson: Oh, my, giddy aunt.
Richard Hammond: Mullet.
James: I think he might be Stiggy Ray Cyrus.

Series 15, Episode 4 (123 show) original air date 07/18/10
The team attempts to find a solution to the problem of the caravan, by building motorhomes on the back of a Land Rover 110, a Citroën CX, and a Lotus Excel.

Jeremy Clarkson: The thing in my nose has a face!

Series 14, Episode 6 (118 show) original air date 12/27/09
The Bolivia Special

Richard Hammond: Did your co-presenter on your television program just attack you with a machete?
Jeremy Clarkson: Yes, he did. He came to the window quite cross because I ran into him.
Richard: That doesn’t happen on clothes programs or gardening shows.

Series 14, Episode 6 (118 show) original air date 12/27/09
The Bolivia Special

Richard Hammond: James is killing Jeremy.  I think things are going well.

Series 14, Episode 6 (118 show) original air date 12/27/09
The Bolivia Special

James May: Ready?
Richard Hammond: No!
James: Right. [yells to Jeremy Clarkson] He’s ready.